Okay, I am officially over these grapes!! As I am certain that you, my gentle readers, are over them as well. This represents my very last post on the subject. Until next year’s crops come in that is. So I’ll make this brief and to the point so we can all move on to bigger and better things!
When I close my eyes at night I have flashes and visions of grapes washing over me. They have it in for me I’m sure of it. The more I harvest, the more I find. They are multiplying and hell-bent on taking over the world! All that stands between you and total grape global dominance is my tenacious efforts to eat them in multiple forms before they overpower and crumble governments.
I am the man on the wall and your last hope for grape free salvation!
Last weekend I enlisted the aid of the lovely Nury to help take out a large portion of the grapes evil troops. She held aloft the giant bowl of power as I hacked and plucked with great fervor and determination. The strain from the shear weight of these fallen soldiers was almost too much for her to bear. Yet she held fast!
The plan of attack was to pull the life giving juices out from the harbingers of grapey destruction leaving nothing but food for the worms and the despairing cry of thousands of fallen grape warriors.
In other words, we made juice.
Not sure why I felt the need to add so much drama, but there it is regardless. If you require some more backstory in case you’ve arrived here directly via the mysteries of the interwebs, check out this article and this article. Then you will better understand why I’m over the grapes at this point.
The juice needed some straining in cheese cloth that was purchased after this photoshoot, which explains its heavy sediment. Having this grape pulp added too much bitterness to the juice for my liking, but once it was strained it was crazy good.
The popsicles were made by adding a mixture of water and sugar to sweeten them up. I’m sure there’s a fancy culinary name for that mixture, but damned if I know it. A sugar reduction maybe (edit: simple syrup)? Either way, they were also very refreshing.
I also had a sneak peek into the upcoming concord grape harvest as one of the bunches began ripening way earlier than the others. I’m sure there’s a name for this as well. Now there’s a grape I can stand behind! I haven’t had a decent concord since I moved to SoCal fifteen years ago. Like an old friend. I can’t wait for the rest to come in.
So now I’m through more than half of the Niagara grapes and am taking orders for all friends and families and neighbors in the local vicinity to come and harvest the rest as I am, like I said, officially over all things grape related! See, that wasn’t too long and drawn out now was it?
18 Replies to “The Grapes of Wrath Part III: Juicing and Grape Popsicles”
Next season you have to try pressing some for a little Reisling white grapes make a great one.
That’s the plan Richard! I was just unprepared this year. But soon the Mind Your Dirt vineyards will be up and running!
If I never juice another grape as long as I live…
…you’ll be really sad? Fret not my love, I will always provide you with grape juicing opportunities! Hooray!
Never mind Batman, you’re the Graped Crusader
Ever vigilant! Saving the world one eaten grape at a time. No need for thanks citizen. Just doing my job.
LOL. I helped process 29 broilers last weekend, and shared the job of throat slitter. Wish I was close enough to pick and process grapes with you!
Throat slitter is a title few have. Dare I ask, what is it? Either way, you’re hired! Cuz if it’s a grape processing term, it’s helpful. But if it’s a murdering technique I don’t want to make you angry.
You put them upside down in the killing cones and then take a sharp knife and go as deftly as possible for the carotid and jugular
Killing cones?!?! There is a whole dark underworld that has alluded me up til now. I am frightened and fascinated.
The dark side lures him not. A Jedi sticks with eggs.
That’s right! The quick and easy way is the sure path to the darkside. Side note: in college I had a philosophy professor that studied the teachings of Yoda. It was surreal and very much appreciated.
Now that’s a philosopher who can reach me at my level!
I am catching up on my blog reading from newest to oldest i.e. backwards. Not wrong about crazy goodness grape juice. I tried some my friend made from her Isabella red grapes – the BEST juice I have ever tasted. In July they will give me some clippings of their Isabella vine (as the vines are format here in winter).
I’m right there with you, I am way behind on my blog reading! I think it’s time to quit my job and blog full time. Work keeps slowing me down!
I’m not sure I’ve ever had Isabella before, is it a wine grape? Keep posted over the winter if you want to see green growth cuz my summer just began and it’s growing season!
Yes Isabella is really a wine / juice grape rather than eating grape – too many seeds. It is a heirloom variety that isn’t susceptible to mould which is a problem where I live but I remember you saying mould is not a problem for you. Enjoy your summer. I will be reading – living vicariously through your summer!
I never did get any grapes from you. My bad! But I loved reading the dramatic story. And you are right about the sugar and water mixture: simple sugar.
Yep, simple sugar. My girlfriend corrected my ignorance. Simple Jim can’t remember simple sugar. Typical.
Well, the local birds are enjoying a great many of the grapes as we speak. I don’t mind sharing in exchange for pest control, beauty and some lovely bird song.