The Poop of the Night Beasts

My curtained sleep provides the creatures of the night free range for all manner of comings and goings. Small festive gatherings of much rejoicing and regaling as fuzzy butts dance and twirl and feast. They laugh and mock the stupid giant hairless ape inside that cave-thing as he snorts and farts. His slumber filled with naive and peaceful dreams. For these night beasts know what the stupid ape-thing will discover in the morning. That tonight is for them.

Tonight they will feast.

Poop of the Night Beasts_WaterfallMy fish had dreams as well. They dreamed of crunchy bits floating on the waters surface, jostling about from the steady cascade of well manicured waterfalls. They dreamed about the next days activities. Like, “let’s all go swim over there now. I think there may be a crunchy bit over there that we missed when we were there five minutes ago”.

I’ve once been told by an old wizened  sailor that fish never truly sleep; that they always keep moving. That sailor was eaten by a shark and is now shark poop. Should’ve heeded his own advice that dark and stormy night off of the Southern coast of Africa. So it goes.

Regardless of Old Stumpy McStinktrout and his unfortunate skinny dipping episode, these fish had dreams! And now they are poop. The poop of the night beasts. So it goes.

Continue reading “The Poop of the Night Beasts”

James and the Giant Atomic Death Robot!

For those that know me well you are fully aware, and hopefully fully prepared, for my many attempts at Total Global Domination. I have asked all my scientist friends over the years to aid in my noble efforts in one form or another. I’m looking at you Marty Cowles! Your delivery of one thousand mutated chimpanzees with backpacks loaded with two ferrets are late by the way!

There are a few ways to become a true mad scientist. One obvious one is to be insane AND be good at science. I’m halfway there. Another is to be crazy rich and have your own island fortress of doom. I’m way off from that!

A third path, and the one I’ve been following, is to hang around people that can get you part of the way. Collectively you can reign supreme. Eventually!


Well today, dear readers, I have moved one giant step forward towards my goals! On eight giant legs. I have driven the coolest giant atomic death robot ever! A complete dream come true!! Before I show you the video, perhaps some backstory is in order.

Continue reading “James and the Giant Atomic Death Robot!”

Teeny Tiny Fuzzy Nuzzlin’ Baby Guinea Keets!

They’ve finally hatched!! Tiny fuzzy squishy fluffballs dripping with cuteness. They beckon me from the spare room with itty bitty peeps and fuzzy nuzzles. I resist the urge to chew on them. What’s with that anyways? Why do I always want to chew on adorable little things? Is it just me? Is there some evolutionary advantage to that instinct? *Nomnomnom*

Regardless, now that Bernie and Hen Solo are finally laying eggs and are part of the main flock and Piper is all happy in her new bully-proof coop, I must admit to succumbing to a little bit of the empty nest blues. So I called upon my friend over at East County Zoo. If you live in the Southern California area and are looking for an amazing breeder, look no further than Aaron over at East County Zoo! Every bird I’ve got from him has been happy, healthy and shiny! Just look at these cuties!!!

Continue reading “Teeny Tiny Fuzzy Nuzzlin’ Baby Guinea Keets!”