For whatever reason, Piper loves nothing more than to follow me around the yard all day long. I have to be extra vigilant to not plow her over with my big hairless-ape feet. If I stop too quickly, she will often run right into my legs and fall backyards in a very cartoonish manner. Watching her little fuzzy legs feverishly trying to correct herself makes my heart swell and burst every time.
Most mornings you’ll find me sleepy-eyed and confused wandering around my backyard in a robe. It’s like a scene out of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest sans medication time and a mean nurse Ratchet (my all time favorite book by the way, cheers Ken Kesey and all your Merry Pranksters).
My dog (and possibly my neighbors) observe this slow-moving and butt scratching beast with an apprehension usually reserved for a schizophrenic having a heated debate with a rusty tin can and a bit of used dental floss.
It takes a good hour before I “come alive” and when I do, I’m just grateful that I’m not standing on the roof of the house naked. Not a morning person.
Why all this colorful explanation regarding my morning routines? Because the other morning I witnessed something that instantly shook me out of my zombie mode just by the shear uncanniness of it. My Easter egger hen, Mia, had somehow laid a magical mini egg! “What the shit?” said I. “What manner of sorcery is this?”.
FREAK!It won’t even fit on my super sweet egg skelter device 🙁
In order to facilitate yet another late day to work, I quickly went to the Interwebs to get to the bottom of this mystery. I am often easily distracted. Oh, what’s that?…
The good (and boring) news is that it’s a completely normal biological process that a chicken goes through when there’s some foreign material or reproductive tissue in the hens oviduct that triggers the formation of an egg around the material. The chicken body treats it like a yolk and it goes on down the production line like there’s no problem at all. the lack of a yolk produces a much smaller egg that usually has a much thicker shell. Yawn.
So that’s the science behind this mystery. Also, a chicken vagina has finally graced the electric pages of Mind Your Dirt. Huzzah!
But when it comes to The Interwebs, one can never simply stop along the road of research just because an answer has been found. A good scientist tests and re-tests his/her hypothesis. With good ol’ fashioned folklore and tales of witchcraft!
In ancient folklore, an egg of this nature was called a Cock Egg. It was called such because it was believed to be laid by a rooster. A matter of great spiritual concern, especially if you brought it into the house. Which I had promptly done before doing my scientific research. If you do that, then you will suffer from bad luck, illness or much much worse!
I’m not too worried because they were highly valued by your local sorcerer for their use in magic spells and potions! I’ve always considered myself a modern sorcerer so maybe it’s not all bad that I brought it inside.
However, there is another huge risk, according to legend. If a serpent or toad or witch breaks in and tries to incubate the egg (Which would be worth seeing, so I’ve been leaving the back door open all night), then the egg would either hatch into a Cockatrice…
My regular readers know all about my constant Basilisk problems!! They really tear up my garden and constantly avoid my monster/demon traps! Really cuts into my trapping success ratio.
According to (my made up) legend, only a power weasel wearing a tutu made of juniper shrubs soaked in hobo tears has the power to ward off the evil Basilisk and Cockatrice! But none of my weasels will wear the silly things! Willful little beasts!
The timeless battle between fancy tutu weasel and dragon chicken
In the Middle Ages, what unexplained folklore would be complete without the aid of Satan himself. Old Scratch doesn’t just mess with people, but animals as well. A Cock Egg was a clear sign that The Fallen One has been snooping around the hen house.
Get this, in 1474 in Basel, Switzerland, a rooster went to trial for allegedly laying a Cock Egg. He couldn’t get decent representation and was found guilty of Satanic witchcraft and burned at the stake. Seriously. This happened.
“…the execution took place with as great a solemnity as would have be observed in consigning a heretic to the flames, and was witnessed by an immense crowd of townsmen and peasants.”
American author and educator, E.V. Walter in his essay – Nature On Trial – The Case Of A Rooster That Laid An Egg
Oh what a crazy bunch we humans are! But maybe this is where fried chicken comes from?!
Later in the Middle Ages the term Witch Egg emerges and much later in the Victorian Era, Fairy Egg. There are a few places in Scotland and parts of Europe that have used the term Wind Egg. Perhaps because a yolk-less egg lacks substance. And lastly, leave it to we Americans to coin the term, ahem…Fart Egg. Stay classy America!
I will keep you posted on any evil hatchings or demonic possessions as they happen in real time via my YouTube channel. If I’m able to that is. If I begin writing blog posts like the following…
“We are Legion and We love organic produce…”
…call an old priest and a young priest on my behalf.
Until then be safe and always know where to find your local sorcerer!!
Yet another Ocean Beach Orphan Thanksgiving has come and gone. This year we had about thirteen people, so a “small” gathering indeed. I did a 22 pound turkey just in case though. Guess what I’m eating for lunch this week! That’s right, ham!! I managed to get both the house and the backyard in order before the quests arrived and I even had a moment to relax in front of the roaring fire with my Cousin Eddie traditional holiday shoes. Nothing says the holidays like some sweet patent leather white loafing shoes!
Once guests arrived, it was a flurry of activity and binge eating. Not a lot of photos to be had, except of course for my old dog Hunter who’s new owner brought along so that he and Sasha could chew on one another for countless hours. That, and to receive cuddles from yours truly. Here he is asking for love…
And here he is receiving it!
The next few days I had the pleasure of relaxing and catching up on yard chores. Such as finally planting my Winter garden. I had one major issue to deal with first however. Deadly and destructive secretive little bastards called nematodes!
Hideous little bastards aren’t they? Well, these guys completely wiped out my summer crops which is why I haven’t boasted them on here this year. It’s hard to know when you have them unless you pull the plants out and examine the roots. Little nodes appear on the roots that are a tell-tale sign. Above the surface, all you’ll see are wilted and meager crops and sad farmers.
The best way (I hope) to deal with them is to introduce predatory nematodes. Fight fire with fire. They’ll seek out and eat all the harmful ones with great fervor! As this is a new trick for me, I’m wondering if any of my readers have experienced this or have any tips or advice. I’m all ears and will keep you posted on the results.
The good news is that I did some soil sampling and I finally have my pH completely neutral!! Take that San Diego alkaline soil! Here I am planting cabbage, broccoli, kale and Brussels sprouts in the freshly treated soil with a little help from Piper and Sasha. A very little help.
I was also afforded some time to just chill out and enjoy the warm sunny day in the yard. Some much needed cuddle time with all my girls.
And lastly, a small harvest of a large pomegranate from my first year tree. Nury wanted me to grow them for her to consume, so all the crops go directly to her as I’m not a huge fan. I was, however, very impressed with the size and yield of the tree after only one growing season. Just look at this guy!
And my lady seems pleased and satiated. One must keep their loved ones satiated y’all!
Well, that’s it for now. More to come soon. How was your Thanksgiving? Any good stories to share? Also, anyone experience nematodes before? I’d love to get some feedback!!!
