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James and the Giant Atomic Death Robot!

For those that know me well you are fully aware, and hopefully fully prepared, for my many attempts at Total Global Domination. I have asked all my scientist friends over the years to aid in my noble efforts in one form or another. I’m looking at you Marty Cowles! Your delivery of one thousand mutated chimpanzees with backpacks loaded with two ferrets are late by the way!

There are a few ways to become a true mad scientist. One obvious one is to be insane AND be good at science. I’m halfway there. Another is to be crazy rich and have your own island fortress of doom. I’m way off from that!

A third path, and the one I’ve been following, is to hang around people that can get you part of the way. Collectively you can reign supreme. Eventually!


Well today, dear readers, I have moved one giant step forward towards my goals! On eight giant legs. I have driven the coolest giant atomic death robot ever! A complete dream come true!! Before I show you the video, perhaps some backstory is in order.

Continue reading “James and the Giant Atomic Death Robot!”

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Mexico City: Mind Your Dirt Goes Abroad (Part II)

[part one]

After a harrowing and treacherous journey to Mexico City, I awoke in my hotel bed with ambitions to go right the hell back to sleep. No rest for the wicked however as this very well may be my only free day in Mexico City to explore and get my museums per diem worth out of this work trip. The fast and loose plan was to get my ass up to the top of a pyramid come hell or high water (both of those are shitty options though).

But my mind and body were weary from the two days journey previous so the first order of business was to track down a cup of mud. Which I did in short order and with several attempts at explaining what a hammerhead is to a Spanish speaking barista. Once that was “solved” and I got some watery gloopy caffeine drink stuffs, I began to actually look at where I was.

My hotel was direct next to the Plaza del la Constitución which is a massive square surrounded by unbelievably beautiful buildings. In the center of the square was one of the most impressively large flags I’ve ever seen. I took this short video to give you the scenery and sounds so that we are both on the same page. The Mexico City Metropolitan Cathedral provides the backdrop.

I kinda wish that video was a little longer, but you get the idea. It was at this moment when it all began to hit me. I was in Mexico City, one of the largest cities in the world.

With a new found energy, I rushed back to the hotel to meet my boss for a hugely sub-par complimentary breakfast. Hooray? We made a plan to contact the front desk and figure out the best way to get to Teotihuacan to see some pyramids. They saw us coming a mile away. Stupid gringos to be placed on a tour van for 10 hours and driven all over Mexico City visiting many glorious sights and even more glorious gift shops by a driver with greased palms and a sketchy motive. In hindsight, we should’ve just taken the bus. Continue reading “Mexico City: Mind Your Dirt Goes Abroad (Part II)”

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Mexico City: Mind Your Dirt Goes Abroad (Part I)

 The weather was mild and the visibility was fair. The ancient Airbus A300 was sluggish and she listed slightly to the right when at full throttle. The stick was muddy too, like stirring a viscous porridge. The 3:30 AM sky offered no light save that of the flashing runway. It was then that my copilot’s heart failed from some form of poisoning.

The sweat formed on my brow as my white knuckled hands grasped the stick in hopes that I can bring this bird back to earth and survive to tell the tale. Fear not dear reader. For I will be your humble captain. It wouldn’t be the first time and wont be the last…

Continue reading “Mexico City: Mind Your Dirt Goes Abroad (Part I)”