Part One: Violet and the Ghost of the Great Pepper Tree
Violet doesn’t belong here. She wasn’t invited. And neither was her brother, Squats for that matter. These were random chickens that were squeezing their tiny fluffy butts into my garden through a gap in the fence.
Just big enough to fit little peeping babies that would peck and scratch the shit out of all my garden beds and make a hell of a mess on my manicured pathways. My precious, precious pathways.
This I could not abide for long. An action plan began forming in my head and I decided to set up some chicken traps and capture these usurpers of my calm. I set up a net at the end of my long cement makeshift patio. A tunnel of many confusing obstacles leading to a hidden circular lobster net. I then went inside and waited. Maniacally so.
After a few hours, I went out to find them in my veggie garden picking, scratching and eating all my vittles. Our eyes locked and all three of us were frozen in the timeless dance of predator v. prey. I pounced, barefoot and snarling. As planned, they leaped out of the raised bed and began sprinting down the long cement pad with me slapping bare toes behind them.
They hit the hidden net like so many drunkenly applied darts into pub dartboards. *thunk, thunk*. With wings flapping uselessly, they could do no more than submit to my gentle yet firm grasp.
After some moments of gentle cooing, I placed them in my little elevated chicken coop for newbies. And there they remained. The day was won!
Continue reading “Scenes from a Winter Garden”
“May you live in interesting times”
-Ancient Chinese curse (but not really ancient, nor Chinese)
This is what awaited me when I got home last Thursday night after a twelve hour day. And like the fake ancient Chinese curse, it made for a very interesting logistical conundrum. The city dumps a truck-load of free mulch in the street in front of your house and then the city comes and sites you for having a large pile of mulch in the middle of the street.
At least that’s what I was worried about when I pulled in at 8:45 p.m. on Thursday knowing full well that I will have to be working all through the weekend! But never look a gift horse in the mouth. Where should one look a gift horse in anyways?
Perhaps a little perspective should come into play here. Hey reader! Did you know that the city you live in will provide you unlimited supplies of free mulch!? Well, they do if you know where to look. In this instance, here in San Diego, I signed up for Chipdrop. Here’s the deal with that; you get a free truck-load of freshly chipped mulch delivered to your house… whenever it’s convenient and a chipping project is underway in your general area.
In my case, it took about eight months to receive my mulch. You can opt to pay $20 to have them deliver it a bit sooner if you like as a way to grease the wheels. You can select if you want mostly logs, chips and logs, or mostly chips and you can let them know where they should dump it. Unless you’re like me and have a super skinny anorexic driveway, in which case they’ll have to drop it in the street in front of your house. Continue reading “Ain’t no Party like a Free Mulch Party!”
I wouldn’t call myself a nosy neighbor, but I do consider myself more observant than the average person. So when I came home from work and saw some youngsters eyeing the vacant lot next to my property, I couldn’t help snooping.
When I approached, they introduced themselves as UC San Diego students that are taking a Food Justice course. They are looking at vacant lots in San Diego neighborhoods that are at risk for becoming food deserts in hopes of transforming them into community gardens. They are also working closely with the San Diego Food System Alliance which you should check out!
Well, those of you that know me or have been loyal readers (thank you!) know that I can’t resist an opportunity to talk about one of my favorite subjects…growing stuff! I offered my services in whatever capacity they required in order to grease the wheels of what seemed a noble project.
They sent me an email questionnaire that I filled out immediately and with great fervor. Something in my patented nonsensical ramblings made these young students hunger for more nonsensical ramblings. And who am I to deny anyone fool enough to show interest in the words of this crusty mud-caked mustachioed jackass? Continue reading “Mind Your Dirt gets Interviewed by UC San Diego Students”