Succulents Before Swine

There are two swine in this story. This cute little planter and myself. You see, I suffer from that typical male character trait of never truly knowing what to get as gifts for my loved ones birthdays. My caveman brain has trouble thinking beyond simple manly gift ideas that women can receive and have a genuine warm smile that will remain when I’m out of range. My stupid and useless caveman reptilian brain. Here’s an illustration of it working at maximum capacity:

Caveman Brain
Jim’s Brain at Maximum Capacity.

My loved ones are very kind and can fake happiness so well when my well-intentioned gift idea is presented to them in a clumsy and unsophisticated manner.

Don’t even get me started on cards. I have no idea why they are important and even less of an idea as to what makes a card a good one. When I receive cards, I don’t know what to do with them at all. And why do we keep cards? What’s their expiration date? Our reptile mind can’t grasp this whole industry. This perfectly sums up man’s thoughts on cards…

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