The True Evil Empire is Monsanto and They are Trying to Kill the World. Join the Rebel Alliance!

Dear reader. Kind reader. Gentle reader. I am so sorry to do this to you, but I am about to go off the rails from my normal posts. I adamantly try to avoid politics or anything too controversial on Mind Your Dirt. I usually try to be approachable in order to reach the widest audience. My goals have always been three-fold: to learn/teach, to inspire and to amuse.

Today, I will be abandoning this goal. I’m throwing it all out the window and I hope that you can bear with me and perhaps even, one day, forgive me. Afterwards I will return to our normal programming. And as a sign of good will, I made certain to make the feature image above hilariously entertaining. At least it is to me. The entire time I created it, I was laughing maniacally. I really crack me up. I sooo get me. When this all blows over, I and I should move in together and make out a bunch. Replacing Darth Vader’s head with that of Monsanto’s CEO, Hugh Grant, tickled me tremendously. But nothing cracked me up as much as sticking Piper’s head on Princess Leia. I digress.

That said, I am about to go on a rant the likes of which you have not seen from me. There might even be a curse word or two! I have always been angry with Monsanto and companies of its ilk (like Dow Chemicals), but I saw something recently that really pushed me too far. I’ll explain below what that something is, but first let’s all get acquainted with Monsanto, shall we? I know that by now, you have all heard something about this company. I know that you know about GMOs and pesticides. You’ve formed your opinions already. But if you’re here, or are one of my regular readers (wassup guys), then chances are your opinions and mine are very similar.

I want to go a little deeper than that however. For herein lies well over a century of the purest evil, manipulation and widespread global murder the likes of which is seldom seen.

Like all great stories, it’s best to start in the beginning…

Mind Your Dirt is Mad at Monsanto 04_James as Lord Vader

Part One: The Dark Lord Emerges:

The company was founded in 1901 by John Francis Queeny, a member of the Knights of Malta and the original Grumpy Cat. He was a thirty-year pharmaceutical veteran. Below is a photo of Queeny at the age of twelve with his pet kitty, Darth Mittens. The powers of The Dark Side had aged him well beyond his years.

Mind Your Dirt is Mad at Monsanto 02_John Francis Queeny the Grumpy Cat
John Francis Queeny, the original grumpy cat.

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