Scenes from a Winter Garden

Part One: Violet and the Ghost of the Great Pepper Tree

Violet doesn’t belong here. She wasn’t invited. And neither was her brother, Squats for that matter. These were random chickens that were squeezing their tiny fluffy butts into my garden through a gap in the fence.

Just big enough to fit little peeping babies that would peck and scratch the shit out of all my garden beds and make a hell of a mess on my manicured pathways. My precious, precious pathways.

This I could not abide for long. An action plan began forming in my head and I decided to set up some chicken traps and capture these usurpers of my calm. I set up a net at the end of my long cement makeshift patio. A tunnel of many confusing obstacles leading to a hidden circular lobster net. I then went inside and waited. Maniacally so.

After a few hours, I went out to find them in my veggie garden picking, scratching and eating all my vittles. Our eyes locked and all three of us were frozen in the timeless dance of predator v. prey. I pounced, barefoot and snarling. As planned, they leaped out of the raised bed and began sprinting down the long cement pad with me slapping bare toes behind them.

They hit the hidden net like so many drunkenly applied darts into pub dartboards. *thunk, thunk*. With wings flapping uselessly, they could do no more than submit to my gentle yet firm grasp.

After some moments of gentle cooing, I placed them in my little elevated chicken coop for newbies. And there they remained. The day was won!

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You Can Talk Me Into Doing Anything…Almost

For all my local San Diego readers, it’s that time of year again where The San Diego Museum of Art hosts its annual Art Alive (for the 36th year). Floral designers come in from all around town to make beautiful floral interpretations of selected works from our permanent collection.

It’s also yet another example of how I can be talked into doing anything no matter how embarrassing or “web permanent” it is. The following promotional video is such an example. Feast your eyes upon this masterpiece…

For more information on the upcoming event, please visit the museum’s Art Alive page found here. Just remember that the only thing better than cut flowers is rooted and happy potted flowers. Had to be said.

And yes, I am the fairy godfather in this scenario. I’m comfortable enough in my manliness to be a fairy godfather.

Help Save the Life of Stumps the No-tailed Kitten!

A few months ago San Diego got hit with a lot of much needed rain. The gardener in me loved this break from the awful drought and I was oft found dancing naked in the backyard in celebration with much mirth and shrinkage.  Here are the photos*

Then one day, I was entertaining some friends when we noticed some movement in the vacant lot next door. Fuzzy and cute movement in the form of three tiny kittens. The friends I was entertaining were the type that could not ignore the cute fuzzy before their eyes so they talked me into trying to feed them.

The pragmatist in me screamed out, “oh slippery slope of ownership! Run away before it’s too late”.  But when lovely ladies want to see kittens, kittens will be seen by Jove! And thus began my decent into stewardship of three souls. Three timid and easily frightened souls as well. It took a while for the bravest of them to come and take some formula from my hand via a feeder syringe.

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