Samurai Piper. Cuz… Chicken Armor.

A half-assed attempt to build armor for my often bullied silkie. Sword training will commence at sunrise. Impulsive she is. Yet, not too old for training.

Prototype A: Death Proof Mark I

Beak proof armor.




I’m still working on the attachment part, but she’s got full range of movement. This officially signals that I have too much time on my hands.

Here’s what I did:

Sketched out and cut a pattern.


Transferred it to some non-skid soft material


I used dividers from a fastener container for the armor plating.


Drilled and sewed them puppies on.


Bad-ass paint job complete with predator eyes and then test fit.


Some sweet padding that also holds the stitching together.


Battle-Piper 3000. Get some!

20 Replies to “Samurai Piper. Cuz… Chicken Armor.”

  1. I don’t believe you have a rooster, James, but I’m wondering if he could work around the armor. hehe.I have seen our chickens mauled, and applaud your solution.

  2. “Birds of a feather will flock together, only if the weakest one has some bad ace armor to protect her”.
    I thought you were joking when you told me about that. But your Jim. Jim with a new samurai chicken. Haha.
    Well done.

  3. What a crazy, funny dude you are James (my kind of crazy). I just never know what to expect when I read your posts. Body armor for chickens today, sketching goffers yesterday and tomorrow??

    1. You don’t know the half of it 😉 I haven’t posted anything about my zombie preparedness training or burgeoning development into science. Mad science that is. I’m an artist raised by an astronomer and a teacher. Things can and will get weird. I’m glad to have you along for the ride 🙂

      1. Shine on James, your ‘weirdness’ is pure original gold. Sounds like you were fortunate to have creative thinkers as parents. As for zombies don’t worry too much – I heard you just need to pock them in the eyes. 😆

  4. Just as an update for everyone, the armor has been a smashing success. Piper is getting beat up much less and even eats with the rest of the flock now. When I throw in a wayward grasshopper as a treat, sometimes she gets it first and battles to keep it! Her confidence is through the roof and I couldn’t be more proud.

  5. truly inspiring… i admire your world and am a bit jealous, sadly can have no chickens on my cat ranch- city limits and all, but now have a vicarious chicken experience right here in your blog…=^..^=

    1. It does my soul good to have some traces of the way we used to be. Having a small flock in an urban setting really contrasts this modern world. Who knows, your city may change their requirements. San Diego did a few years ago which is how I’m able to do this. I’m sure there are groups of people pushing for it if you look. Cats would not be a big issue with chickens. Chickens are fierce warriors! Thanks for following, I’ll try not to disappoint!

  6. I started by reading how your silkie was bullied & wanted to let you know, my silkie named Noodles, lives inside with me ( she’s My only hen). The poop thing is a reality, but it’s not as bad as you think. At night she sleeps with me in bed, with her lil chicken diaper. I think I paid around $12 for it, but I’m sure with your mad chicken gear making skills,( had to click & see the bad ass armor!) you could fashion a wicked diaper for her yourself! This is THE SWEETEST bird I’ve ever known. I had another hen ( Nugget) last year that passed in a freak accident. She was much more aggressive than Noodles (not with me!) but I loved her so much. They make the best of friends. Noodles is my first Silkie & they are like the lap dogs of the chicken world! Anyway, I absolutely LOVE your posts, had to sign up for more. Thanks so much for the smile & lovely reading material!

    1. Aw Shelly Beans, you rock! I’m glad you’re digging what I’m throwing down. Shortly after this article, I ended up building her her very own coop and run. She’s been happy and healthy ever since! She now has a roommate. A one-eyed chicken named Blackbutt the Pirate.

      Did you see that Piper made the cover of the Reader!? I’m soo proud of my little champion.

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